Sometimes, you never know if that person you constantly think of likes you or not.Especially if you love that person, you constantly want to know if that person is thinking about you or what comes to their mind when they hear your name.
I'll tell you something about what I've been through. I had a crush on someone that I had absolutely no chance with and the way I feel in love is now nearly ruined with him doing the opposite of what I loved him for. You're probably so confused reading this. Let me elaborate on this. If you don't want to read on you don't have to, I'm not forcing you.
Okay, so it all started 5 years ago, when I was in Year/Grade 7, now I'm now in year/grade 12, so wait technically it's nearly been 6 years, but I didn't love him from the start of the 6 years. This is kind of hard to explain because I don't want to make things obvious. I couldn't get to the point I'm going off track a little. Okay, so the first time he came I had such a negative first impression on him. I thought he was the biggest show off and just wanted attention from girls, which was probably the case in those days and made every girl get a second glance at him because he was 'good looking'.
After about a year or probably less, something happened and I was blamed for something which I haven't even done, and just got blamed because I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I didn't want the other person to also get in trouble so I had the blame which I didn't say I did or didn't do. However, that guy saved me from getting into trouble, don't know if he meant to or he actually didn't want me to get into any trouble. He didn't get into trouble, don't ask how or why, not going to explain. After that day my dislike feeling turned into like. Then day by day my crush feelings grew stronger towards him.
After 5 years of me actually 'liking' him I can say we hardly talked. I didn't used to be jealous of anything he did until this year. And yes, during all these years I didn't 'go out' with any guy, thankfully my crush feeling towards him made me not like any other guy, and I didn't go out with any guy. So yes, this was an advantage, I'm actually really glad I never 'went out' or did anything with a guy. I always knew I had NO chance with him, but I still continued loving him from a distance.
Just today, he ruined everything. He did the opposite of what he did at the start that made me dislike him, now I'm stuck in a position that I have no feelings towards him but only a thought of 'wasted time and imaginations'. I think from tomorrow this would turn back into the dislike I had towards him. See this is how weird life is, now it's going backwards, reminds me of an equilibrium reaction(chemistry) and a circle. But now the circle is cut, don't think I'll be able to 'like' him again.
Also because of this I don't even want to see his face or go to school :(
Written by: Humeyra.
